A sister in Christ recently shared her testimony with me about her experience with abortion and God’s redemption. I asked if I could share it on our website and she agreed. So, today, instead of sharing thoughts from my own devotional life, I’m going to do a guest post. This is Tracy’s story:
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well….Psalm 39:13,14
I do know and believe this scripture very well now. There was a time in my life that I did not believe this. I have had 3 abortions. I have taken 3 lives and for this I am deeply sorry. During this time in my life, I did not value human life. I did not value my life nor the lives of the babies that were inside of me, the lives that I ended.
Yours eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:16
It was not until I accepted Jesus as my Lord and as my Savior did I believe that my life, that any life, mattered to God. We are created by God and for God. We are created in His image. It is not that I love God. It is that He loved me and sent His one and only Son to die on a cross for me. There came a day in my life when I realized the life I was living was not the life that God had planned, yes planned, for me. Sin had taken its toll and I needed someone to help me and to love me. And that someone was and is Jesus. He paid for me with His life. He cleansed and forgave me and is continuing, going on 25 years now, to make me into the woman he has called me to be, fulfilling the purpose He has for my life.
During the time I had my abortions, I convinced myself that there was no emotional cost involved. I kept it to myself, believing it was my life, my choice, my body. I did not realize until much later that these babies were someone’s grandchildren, cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, friends. I believe that God has completely forgiven me and I will see my children again in heaven someday. However it wasn’t until much later, when I could possibly be a grandma, myself, that it was heavy on my heart to go and ask my parents’ forgiveness. It truly was one of the hardest, yet most freeing, things I have ever done in my life. To confess that I took 3 grandbabies from them, and then to receive their forgiveness, brought so much healing that I did not know I even needed. To believe that there is not a cost, that taking another life is a private matter, was and is a lie.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God, how great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:17.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.
God does not make any mistakes. Each and every life is created by Him and for Him and matters to Him.